Neurodivergence: Communicating Boundaries & Practicing Self-Advocacy
A session I had last week sparked this post, and I hope it resonates with those of you navigating life as neurodivergent adults. Whether you're just starting to explore what boundaries mean for you or you're working on strengthening your self-advocacy skills, this is a reminder: your needs are valid, and your voice matters.
Why Boundaries Matter
Learning to set and communicate boundaries is a vital part of self-advocacy, especially for neurodivergent adults who may experience sensory overload, social fatigue, or emotional labor more intensely. Boundaries help you protect your time, energy, and well-being so you can show up for yourself in sustainable ways.
You don’t need to justify your boundaries or explain them in detail. A simple, respectful statement is often enough. Practicing boundary-setting may feel uncomfortable at first, but it becomes easier the more you do it. One helpful strategy is to prepare ahead of time. Whether you're using a script, stepping away from a conversation, or expressing yourself in writing, your communication is valid.
Types of Boundaries (and How to Express Them)
Emotional Boundary
“I’m not comfortable talking about that right now.”
Time/Energy Boundary
“I need to rest after work, so I’m not available tonight.”
Physical Boundary
“I don’t like being touched without asking first.”
Mental/Information Boundary
“I’m choosing not to share that with you.”
When you want to be assertive but kind:
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I hear your concern, but I need to make this choice for myself.”
“I appreciate your input, and I’ll take it from here.”
When you're feeling overwhelmed:
“I need a break. Let’s revisit this later.”
“I’m not able to talk about this right now.”
When protecting your emotional space:
“I’m not comfortable sharing that.”
“I’m working through something personal, and I’m not ready to discuss it.”
When you're feeling overwhelmed:
“I need a break. Let’s revisit this later.”
“I’m not able to talk about this right now.”
Self-Advocacy Tips for Neurodivergent Adults
Self-advocacy is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier the more you practice. Here are a few ways to build your confidence:
Know your needs. Notice what energizes you and what drains you. That’s valuable insight.
Use scripts. Writing out what you want to say or practicing with a trusted friend can make things feel more manageable.
Nonverbal boundaries count. Walking away, ending a conversation, or turning off your phone are valid ways to set limits.
Write it down. If it’s hard to speak in the moment, consider sending a message instead.
You don’t need to over-explain. Your needs are reason enough.
Trust your perspective. Even if others don’t understand, your boundaries are still valid.
You Are Allowed To…
Set limits, even with family
Be understood on your own terms
Say no without guilt
Protect your peace
Take time to respond
Change your mind
Final Thoughts
You are not too much. Your needs are real. Your voice matters.
Whether you're navigating a challenging conversation, redefining relationships, or learning to speak up for yourself in small ways, know this: you are allowed to take up space exactly as you are.
Take Care,
Jane Klingberg